All posts tagged: Thoughts

What “Lady Bird” Means to Me

When I finally watched Greta Gerwig’s beautiful Lady Bird, I felt so much and still do. Unlike Lady Bird I have a wonderful mom who’s kind and understanding, I was never ashamed of my socio-economic status, and I wouldn’t lie to a peer about the house I live in or who I’m friends with. But like Lady Bird I wanted to go to college in New York City despite never having been there, felt stifled by the mid-sized city I called home, and was sure that there were bigger and better things out there for me – whatever that actually means. Lady Bird somehow brought me back to my undergraduate years, when I felt like the world was this new and exciting place to explore and express myself within. Since then I’ve grown to be more realistic and a bit cynical, but seeing Lady Bird’s struggle to figure herself out reminded me of a part of myself I had forgotten. While I’m much more sure of myself than I was in college, I missed the hopefulness I found within my confusion. I …

Complaining About LA Doesn’t Make You Cool

People complain to me about Los Angeles all the time. Mostly it’s grumpy folks who don’t live here, but sometimes it’s even those who have never stepped foot in the city. Everyone in LA is shallow! There are so many hipsters! The traffic is horrible! Everyone’s so snotty! There’s no culture! There’s no history! There are too many health nuts!  I wonder why friends, family, and acquaintances who live elsewhere feel the need to tell me how much they hate LA? Why they waste their time and energy whining about a place they barely know, to a person who openly loves calling Los Angeles home? There are folks who live here and can’t stand it because it’s not the right place for them, but some of them decide it’s objectively bad. LA’s too crowded, dirty, and pretentious…and I don’t fit in here because I’m different! These types of arguments seem to be based on a very narrow view of the city, ignited by ideas about what life’s like for predominantly white, upper-middle class people who live here. …

Winter Wonder

Back in the fall of 2016 I posted my first mood board and since then I’ve been sticking to the seasonal theme. Although I skipped the following winter and spring, I did do a summer board and have now finally gotten around to making a winter one. When I make one of these digital pieces, I start with a few places and objects that evoke certain feelings for me this time of year like the cold, dry, desert air – or bright, dewy oranges. When I think of winter, snow and the holidays don’t easily come to mind. Instead, I’m reminded of crisp Arizona mornings and the quietness that accompanies the cold. Or cloudy coastal afternoons, where a calmness overtakes even the most frantic of places. I imagine warmer climates in the Southern Hemisphere, and the commanding pine trees of the Pacific Northwest. I think of animals – thriving or barely surviving – and desolation and fire. I also think of warmth, bright colors, and far away cities – or people drinking hot coffee in …

“Twin Peaks” Podcast for NERDSoul Sunday’s

This past week I was invited to contribute to the NERDSoul Sunday’s podcast by The Comic’s Bolt, and in the podcast I talk about Twin Peaks (of course) and why I love the series, what made it viable for primetime broadcast TV, and the show’s use of melodrama to hybridize other genres. If you have the time, take a listen and let me know what you think! If you’re a Twin Peaks fan, do you agree with some of my points or take a different stance? And if you haven’t watched the series, maybe it will pique your interest? I’ve also included a link to the video essay I made in 2016, which is the source of much of the research I reference in the podcast. PODCAST: The Strange World of “Twin Peaks” VIDEO ESSAY: Exploring “Twin Peaks” And as a bonus, here are two of my favorite Twin Peaks videos: Twin Peaks, Without People Twin Peaks but without context (*spoilers*)

Tommy Wiseau, Vegan Pizza, & Gifs

I really enjoyed putting together this casual newsletter-style post back in June, so I thought I’d do another! Here’s what I’ve been watching, listening to, reading, thinking about, doing, eating, and fawning over. What have you been into lately? WATCHING Not to be dramatic, but I’ve been so busy lately that I haven’t had time to watch much TV or go to the movies. As far as television goes I’m currently watching Stranger Things, Transparent, Golden Girls, X-Files, Master of None, and Star Trek: The Next Generation. I’m basically part-way through all of these shows but haven’t been watching consistently. But I did binge the past 10 episodes of I Love You America with Sarah Silverman on Hulu the other night and I LOVE IT — YOU SHOULD WATCH! This past week I saw Star Wars: The Last Jedi and attended the 30th anniversary screening of Die Hard. The movies I plan on FINALLY watching this week include Lady Bird, The Florida Project, and The Disaster Artist, and I’m hoping to see Call Me By Your Name, Lemon, and Lucky soon. Oh can we talk about The Disaster Artist trailer for a …

Lena Dunham’s Rich White Kids

I haven’t had the time to blog lately, so I wanted to jump back into things with a super short post on Lena Dunham. This is just something I wrote on my notes app one night last week, so my thoughts aren’t fully fleshed out, nor are they particularly well assembled. I was thinking a lot about Lena Dunham after she defended an accused rapist and had one of her Lenny Letter writers quit, citing “hipster racism.” Dunham has been doing and saying problematic things for years, and although I really wanted to be a fan (she’s an outspoken writer/director/producer and I look up to that) her work has consistently rubbed me the wrong way. One of the things that has always made Lena Dunham’s work a bit difficult for me to digest (beginning with Tiny Furniture, even though I enjoyed it overall) is that her very wealthy artist New Yorker background is so much a part of her storytelling. Her film, TV series, and writing is always about white girls, but specifically elitist, posh, rich white girls, which is …

Looks, Likeability, & Constant Worry

I used to worry so much about being liked. I wouldn’t admit it to myself at the time, but I spent much of high school, college, and a few years after undergrad stressing out about being a universally well-liked person (though I now realize that person doesn’t exist). Unlike most boys, girls are often brought up to be likable. Being “ladylike” has social capital – if we look and act pleasant, we’re taught we’ll move ahead. Be too loud or bossy or unkempt and you may create some enemies. I’ve spent most of my life feeling that my likeability (including how I’m perceived physically) was what mattered most. These were feelings that I internalized and battled with constantly. I didn’t want to feel that way, and I knew that it went against all that I felt I stood for. But time and time again I gave into my insecurities and felt that I wasn’t enough. Not pretty enough…not thin enough…not cool enough…not clever enough…not fun enough…not smart enough… After years of wasting so much time worrying …

Brown, Kiddo, & Tarantino

OR: Tarantino’s Leading Ladies: Jackie Brown, Beatrix Kiddo, & Women’s Empowerment On-screen Quentin Tarantino’s body of work – from his feature film debut Reservoir Dogs (1992), to his most recent epic The Hateful Eight (2015) – consists of films that are violent, highly stylized, dialogue-driven, oftentimes problematic, and always provocative. Though each film in Tarantino’s oeuvre is quite different from the one that came before it or followed, numerous qualities of his work remain consistent. In each of his films Tarantino celebrates popular culture by commemorating genres that were once relegated to the margins by Hollywood, such as martial arts cinema, Blaxploitation, and spaghetti westerns. While appropriating genres, Tarantino provides his own authorial stamp by writing dialogue-driven scripts which are benefited by episodic structures. A “Tarantino film,” one can almost always be assured, features revenge at the heart of the narrative and creates pleasure through the irreverent combination of humor and violence. And, with each of Tarantino’s films, the appropriateness of his representations of violence, race, gender, and revisionist history, come into question time and …

Life After Facebook

Why I Can’t Stand Facebook, which I wrote in 2014 after dropping the site from my life, remains the most popular post I’ve written for Catch-all (apparently people are constantly Googling “Can’t stand Facebook”?). Since a few years have passed, I decided to share a brief update on what living without Facebook has been like. Before getting into the benefits of LWOFB (I just made that up but don’t you think “Life Without Facebook” could catch on?) I think it’s important to characterize what type of Facebook user I was, and how the site became damaging for me personally. After years of using Facebook, and being connected to nearly everyone I knew, I became obsessed with my online persona. I was constantly wondering “is my header photo cool enough?” “Do I look good in my profile photo?” “Are my status updates clever or getting sufficient likes?” I’m also a pretty curious (or maybe even nosy) person, and as much as I wish it weren’t the case, Facebook lurking was something I definitely took part in. “Oh that girl …

Getting Back into the Swing of Things

Since my last blog post I’ve been all over Iceland, spent a long weekend in New York City, returned to Los Angeles for a few days, and took a trip back home to Tucson, AZ. Once I’m back in Los Angeles I’ll have to find a new place to live, move, say goodbye to my sister who’s leaving LA, and find a job. Regardless of the major changes coming my way, I’m still putting off the stress of thinking too much about everything until I can’t avoid it any longer. Beyond the logistics of moving and looking for work, there’s a lot in my life that’s currently up in the air. Graduate school was wonderfully rich and life changing – but exhausting – so I’m glad that’s over now. Aside from personal issues, drumpf and his people are wreaking havoc on this country and our world. I can’t help but feel that Americans are on the brink of a collective meltdown, and we’re all just holding on by a thread. But while all of this has been …